Sid O’Chester, the barber, moves to France

/ Doug Jacquier

This piece was written for the weekly photo prompt, the Unicorn Challenge. Note: O’Chester is a chain of barber shops in France.

Bonjour, Monsieur Barber. I need a ‘aircut.

Certainly, Monsieur, what will it be? Short back and sides?

Non, non, non, existentialist. Something that is, but is nothing, and I will experience angst anyway.

Not familiar with that one, Monsieur.

C’est la vie. Then I will have the Marxist. Your working class clippers will rise up against the bourgeois ‘air, clearing the way for the rising of the proletariat.

No Communists allowed in here, mon ami.

Sacre bleu. The Taoist then. One side of my head will be the reverse of the other but be in perfect harmony.

That’s punk. Not having any of that rubbish seen coming out of my shop. Bad for business that is.

I think I’m experiencing a Cartesian crisis here. I think I’m having a haircut, therefore I am, except you won’t cut my hair the way I ask.

Look, Monsieur. Underneath all that philosophising, the French are, at heart, Catholics. You can’t seem to understand that how much you believe in it, there’s no such thing as free will.

But I need a ‘aircut!

And that you shall have, as long as you become a Stoic. They accept things over which they have no control and understand that the pain will pass and they can move on.

So are you going to give me a ‘aircut or not?

Certainly, Monsieur. Short back and sides coming up. Now, what do you fancy in the third at Longchamp?

15 thoughts on “Sid O’Chester, the barber, moves to France”

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