These flawed gems are in response to this week’s Terrible Poetry challenge, which consists of ‘stockpiling against a worldwide disaster, in limerick form’.

Wine not

The world is facing disaster

So stock up on tuna and pasta

Cache rolls for the loo

Store sanitising goo

And ensure your wine cellar’s vaster.

Paperless society

Go on, kiss everyone in sight

Before we all fall down to the blight

Forget all that tucker

And give us a pucker

But clench your other end real tight.

One flu over the cuckoo’s nest

There’s a man in DC called The Pres

He t-wee-ts, he pooh-poohs, and he says

It’s all something minor

Like everything from China

A few less old folk, who cares?