Last week the death panic came again,

just as I was drifting off to sleep

or to die?

No! (turning over quickly and opening my eyes)

No! Not yet, it’s not fair!

I haven’t had time to …

(what?)

… unfail my true purpose in life

(which is..?)

Give me more time

(who the hell am I talking to?)

Give me time and I will be yours forever

and this will be my mantra:

Tomorrow I will love selflessly

Tomorrow I will labour willingly

Tomorrow I will seek joy and not despair

The mantra complete,

I felt calmer.

Last night, when the panic came again,

and again Death chewed up Hope

and spat it in my face,

I was ready.

Chanting my mantra,

like holding a crucifix in front of me,

until Death retreated.

But …

who the hell am I talking to?