This is my response to the prompt ‘Warning Labels’ from The A Mused Poetry Contest

The fridge magnet letters spilled out on the table,

followed by the numbers and then a WARNING label.

‘Some more advanced children may well be prone

to spell out things you may not condone.’

Piffle, I snorted, as I added them to the door;

my kids are more adult and their taste is not poor.

What I hadn’t allowed for was their merciless wit

and their ability to give visitors an apoplectic fit.

Thus ‘HELLO BABE’ was what greeted tubby Mrs. Foster

and her balding hubby got NICE RUG. WHAT DID IT COST YER?

The Reverend was rocked by DO SHOES HAVE SOULS?

and Granny by HAVE YOU TRIED SHAVING YOUR HAIRY MOLES?

I gathered the clan and in a voice loud and ringing

said that any more pranks and their ears would be singing.

All was quiet for a while but you can’t stop temptation;

I was greeted with KIDS ARE CAUSED BY MULTIPLICATION.

Despite myself, I couldn’t stop laughing and arranged my reaction

ALL PROBLEMS CAN BE SOLVED WITH A LITTLE SUBTRACTION.

Game over but they must have the last word they decided

with the finale WE CANNOT STAND A HOUSE DIVIDED.