This piece was written for the weekly Six Sentence challenge with the prompt word of ‘effervescence’.
After Arabella had finished lamenting the loss of her latest boyfriend, Babs breathlessly unloaded that the trouble with Arabella was that she was insufficiently bubbly, too po-faced, not enough fizz, and that guys don’t want to know about what you think about global warming, and they want to know what you think about warming them up (at least by the second date), whether you’ll laugh at all their stupid jokes, whether you can take a ‘joke’ and, by the third date, whether you have any money.
Arabella nodded but was actually appalled by the idea that she would have to be an airhead to attract a man, so the next time she was out at a social event and a man approached her, before he could speak, she blurted out ‘I’m a committed environmentalist, I hate jokes and I’m as poor as a church mouse.’
The man smiled and said ‘Ditto’ and would she like to accompany him to the Natural History Museum this Sunday because he’d heard there was a very powerful exhibition on the effects of plastics in oceans.
Agreeably stunned, Arabella said she’d love to and then he said ‘I don’t have a car, can you pick me up?’ and she said of course and dutifully arrived in her Mercedes sports car on Sunday at the address he’d given her.
He said he’d had a better idea; a friend had loaned him his speedboat and they could go looking for dolphins, which delighted Arabella, until mid-boat-trip he stopped the engine, dropped his pants and lunged at her, with his willie wagging like a metronome.
Arabella’s self-defense training kicked in instinctively and, while the man was still groin-groaning, she threw him overboard and, ignoring his pleas that he couldn’t swim, she watched him go under with a myriad bubbles rising to the surface and she felt quite …effervescent.