The Powerful Jab

/ Editor, Witcraft

This piece was written for the Six Sentence challenge, with the prompt word of ‘powerful’.

Morgan’s sententious diatribe, elucidating to the assembled dinner party his unsolicited views on a divisive issue, had lasted through the better part of two bottles of wine, the latter of which was the bottle that Morgan had brought to the dinner party, a wine which resembled a particularly watered-down version of raspberry cordial but elicited the epithet of ‘gloriously cheeky’ from Wallace’s wife, Agnes.

Wallace waited patiently until Morgan’s mouth was filled with a water cracker, topped with an obscene amount of cheddar, before launching his powerful strike against his brother-in-law.

‘Morgan’ he began, ‘I have come to the conclusion that there is no more unintelligent organism on the planet than you, and I include in that list the noble maggot and the much maligned pond scum, who at least have the sense to ignore the Murdoch press and Fox News, from which you derive the excreta that passes for commentary in the goldfish attention span of social media.’

Wallace continued, ‘In fact, I think it is safe to say that your contribution to humanity began and ended when you were a baby and realised that regurgitation was a satisfyingly disruptive intervention into any worthwhile conversation and ensured the focused attention of those upon whom you vomited on a regular basis.’

Agnes rose from her seat, her face glowing a vivid shade of red, and threw her wine glass vehemently but inaccurately in Wallace’s direction and in the process destroyed almost half of her imitation Meissen porcelain figures displayed on the mantelpiece.

Morgan took a gulp of his wine and, inflating himself to peak pomposity, responded condescendingly to the other dinner guests, ‘I rest my case; behold a living example of enslavement by vaccine.’

25 thoughts on “The Powerful Jab”

  5. Your Six provides ample proof of the fact that reality is, to a small, but quite real degree, personal. This is weak comfort to those who might try to reconcile the conflict inherent when (seemingly) intelligent people maintain… worse, assure those around them, in the most projectile of manners, ideas and beliefs that cannot be accounted for otherwise.
    It (this belief about reality) does nothing for them but is a great relief for those of us seize by the vicarious cognitive dissonance that is the inevitable response to these all too common situations.

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  12. Go, Wallace!
    Oh the many satisfactions in this piece.
    That’ll larn Agnes! I especially liked that detail.
    And all the other fabulous details: the cheese, the peak pomposity…
    A brilliant piece.
    And of course, Morgan had to have the last word!
    Perfect

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