Courtesy of that ever so serious Australian website, The Shovel.
Dear American friends,
You may have seen your fellow Americans on Fox News calling for Australia to be liberated from our tyrannical nightmare. Now we’re asking for your help too.
Trapped in an oppressive regime of menacingly free healthcare, troublingly low gun crime, brutally beautiful weather and suffocating open space, we have nowhere else to turn.
We are suffering. Our minimum wages, like our vaccination rates, are ominously high. Our standard of living sits dangerously amongst the highest in the world. Our schools lack even the most basic metal detectors.
This cannot go on.
While Candace Owens has bravely suggested Australia should be invaded, we believe there is another, more effective way you can help. Instead of sending us your troops, send us your money.
- Just $100 can buy us a nice brunch for four at our local café
- $10 can pay for a second monthly streaming service, freeing us of the burden of having to keep switching between a Netflix, Stan and Prime subscription (so annoying!)
- $5,000 will pay for our medical bills for a year, with $5,000 left over to spend on something totally unrelated
They say you can’t put a price on freedom, but we’d suggest it’s probably a monthly payment of $50. Minimum.
If you love oppression, tyranny and Communism, then simply ignore this message. But if you think freedom is worth standing up for, then please give everything you can. Join Ted Cruz, Joe Rogan, Donald Trump and others in standing up for Australia and donating to this worthy cause.
Please pass this on to all of your American friends.