This piece was written for the Min Min Weekly Prompt Challenge for 20 Jan 2023. It was inspired by ‘The Pict Song’ by Billy Bragg, with lyrics by Rudyard Kipling.
It began with tea and tears. Sophie had been sacked by the local supermarket.
‘I’ve been replaced by a self-serve scanner. What am I going to do, Gran? How am I going to pay the rent and everything?’
Gran said ‘Let me think about it. We’ll find a way. Now, wash your face and go home to your family.’
After Sophie left, a plan began to take shape. She hit her email list, filled them in on Sophie’s story and arranged the first meeting of We Are One.
The next day, some members of the group each collected a large trolley, filled it to overflowing with randomly selected items and presented at the traditional check-out queues. Simultaneously, another group did likewise but entered the self-service checkout corral. There they laboriously scanned each item, including large bags of apples, which they weighed and checked individually. It was not long before there was a logjam at the ‘Not OK Corral’, so legitimate customers headed for the now burgeoning queues at the two checkout desks that were open. When every checkout was opened, Gran blew a whistle and the members left. And Sophie was called in to help put all the goods back on the shelves.
Gran’s email to the supermarket chains was succinct. ‘We Are One. Remove the self-serve checkouts immediately or we will send you broke. We refuse to be cyphers. We will be counted and we will counter. We Are One. And this is just the beginning.’
Six Crooked Highways 
Can’t stand being my own cashier.
Get ’em Grandma, et al, one and all.
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I knew you’d side with her. 🙂
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What’s their phone number?
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1800WeAreOne 🙂
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I’ll get right onto ’em.
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Brilliant, Doug. Never mess with old folks. They have the wisdom, the time, and the ‘don’ t-give-a-damnedness’. This is a call to revolution!
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Many thanks, Jenne. Yes, it’s one of the joys of ageing that’s much under-rated. 🙂
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Service professionals of the world, unite! Inspector General Granny has got her brains and her might at your back!!
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Indeed and she’s coming for a supermarket near you. :-).
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I was in that supermarket that day!
And every day…
Fun piece, Doug, with a (semi-)serious message.
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Great story, and a great theme, Doug. I’m going to go off the song sheet here in favour of self-service check-outs, but only because our only supermarket is the Co-Op. And what MY local Co-op knows about pricing, stock levels and speedy customer care and check-out could safely be encapsulated on the back of a postage stamp. Which they don’t sell.
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All the more need to make their life miserable until they see the light. 🙂
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Yes! I refuse to use self checkout unless they pay me the going wage.
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Excellent positive banding together of those occupying the lowest rung on the ladder of capitalism…the individual.
Being the actual consumer of the goods and services within a culture and society one would be tempted to think, ‘Wait! Shouldn’t they be at the top of this food-chain?!’
That unfortunately is not how power works. As your geri-collective WAO demonstrate, ‘Power is a verb’.
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Many thanks, clark, and perceptively analysed.
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Love it When a human cashier says ‘Sorry to keep you waiting’ I always reply that I don’t mind waiting for a human. Of course the poor cashier often has to abandon his supportive customers to go to the aid of someone stuck at self service!
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Leave the buggers to struggle, I say. That’ll learn ’em. 🙂
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