The Dali Planet

This piece is in response to the weekly Min Min prompt at . Jump in, the water’s fine.

Salvador Dali Clock Painting at | Explore collection ...

The world thought it had seen everything until all the guns went limp, like Dali watches. Monty Python-like, armies were reduced to yelling insults at each other. When they tried to throw hand grenades they found blancmanges in their hands. When they fixed bayonets, they found their swords were only drawn and not real.

Gangsters became a laughing stock when they had to resort to ‘bang, bang, you’re dead’. The best that potential school shooters could manage was ‘I hate Mondays’.

Lions fell about laughing when all that popped out of the end of hunters’ rifles were corks on strings. (Mind you, their revenge was thwarted when they found their teeth had turned into marshmallows.) Ducks danced on the hats of men camouflaged in the marshes.

Soon the world realised that it wasn’t just guns that had become laughing stocks but the plague of benevolence and good will had spread to all the micro aggressions that had become rampant in modern times.

Perpetrators of rude finger gestures found they now had a hand full of sausages that couldn’t be trained to type or hold a steering wheel or steer a motorbike. Thugs and wife-beaters found their hands had turned to fairy floss and they were besieged by children.

Politicians discovered that anything stronger than ‘yah-sucks-boo to you’ stuck in their craw. Social media trollers watched in horror as their digital diatribes fell from their screens like confetti before they could become fully formed.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

10 thoughts on “The Dali Planet

  1. Imagine – oh wait, you did!
    Clever title, carried forward by examples worthy of both Dali and Monty Python.
    (I particularly liked the lions with marshmallow teeth. Oh, and the ‘swords drawn and not real.)
    Now, if only some of that could come to pass.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. With plasticene porters with looking glass ties.”

    Fun how… words, no, not just words, images and descriptions (can) create in the Reader associations so far removed as are your bloghop and the Beatles c. 1967*

    Trippy wordage, yo.

    (Like Jenne, my fave was “…they found their swords were only drawn and not real.“)

    *err, ok, maybe not such a gap lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • Confession time. That line was, ahem, re-purposed from ‘The curtains were drawn but the furniture was real’, which I thought was an old Goons quote but apparently not; origins unknown. This one is though: ‘The floor was so cunningly laid that no matter where you stood it was under your feet.’ And one for CE: ‘Is there anything worn under the kilt?’ ‘No, it’s all in working order.’

      Liked by 1 person

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