This piece was written for the Unicorn weekly photo challenge provided by Ms. Gray and Mr. Ayr.

‘So who’s the bloke in the foreground there?’

‘Ah, that’s Le Maitre Du Pigeons. Master of the pigeons. He looks after all the pigeons in the lofts you see at the top of the building. Feeds them, cleans up the pigeon stools, that sort of thing.’

‘Then what’s the building?’

‘Le Bureau de Poste Pigeon. The Pigeon Post Office.’

‘Why on earth would anyone be sending messages via pigeons these days?’

‘Simple. You can’t hack a pigeon. Untraceable communication written in unbreakable code known only to the sender and the recipient. Silicon Valley and Western intelligence hate them with a passion but Russia and China can hardly breed them fast enough.’

‘But couldn’t snipers with high powered telescopic rifles pick them off?’

‘Perhaps. But which ones in the daily flocks in the thousands? Entirely impractical. Besides, they’re protected under EU data rules’

‘Clever thinking but they do come with risks. They’re not called ‘rats with wings’ for nothing. With bird flu rampant, they could trigger another epidemic.’

‘Well, they might but, at some point in modern life, something or someone is going to excrete on you from a great height. I don’t know about you but I think I’d prefer that to descend from a bunch of flocking pigeons than from a bunch of privacy-invading flying elephants.’

‘So do you think those multinationals have buildings that house massive flying elephant lofts?’

‘Now you’re letting your imagination run away with you. Do something useful and get us another pint.’

Appropriate bonus clip https://youtu.be/pj0_Ps5c08I