This piece of dark nonsense was written for the weekly Unicorn photo prompt Challenge. BYO 250 words and jump in.
‘Hey, Gus! What’s with the red dot and the circle?’
‘Shush, Charlie, don’t tell everybody!’
‘We’re all connected underground, you idiot. There are no secrets. So, what do you think you’re up to?’
‘These nice men came along and said I was very special and would I mind if they decorated me a little, so that everyone would know I was special.’
‘So these would be the nice men wearing yellow helmets and green overalls with Parks Service written on them that visited this morning?’
‘Yes, that’s them. I feel so honoured.’
‘I doubt that you’ll feel that way tomorrow when they come back with a chainsaw and a truck to carry you away in pieces for firewood. You really are thicker than two short planks, as well as diseased.’
‘But, hey, all you guys and gals in the grove, you have to help me. Can’t you stop them?’
‘Of course, Gus. We’ll just get Pooh Bear and Tigger to come and cover the sign with honey to hide the red paint. Perhaps even Noddy might come and help in his little red car with the horn that goes parp.’
‘Look, this is no time for jokes.’
‘You’re right. That’s why we’re cutting off your underground trunk line before they come, so we don’t feel the pain with you. You understand. Herd immunity and all that. Bye, Gus.’
Gus screamed ‘Charlie!’ but the citizens of the grove could no longer hear a tree about to fall in the forest.
Six Crooked Highways 
Great piece of whimsy, Doug.
Children’s heroes, tree psychology and a passing jibe at herd immunity.
You’ve brightened my day
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Thanks, Jenne. Always the aim with the nonsense I write.
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Nicely done, Doug!
G Berkeley-ish 🌲 🪵
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Thanks, Nancy. I’ll take your word for it. 😉
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“Thicker than two short planks” (mic drop). Well done, once again!
Who knew the forest was so savage! 😂
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An old expression in these parts, Liz. You’re right, it’s a jungle out there. Glad you liked it.
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😊
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Good storytelling and appreciate your knowledge of trees shared in it.
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Many thanks. Their underground communication networks fascinate me.
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You’re welcome, and they fascinate me as well.
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Funny as ever, Doug, but much deeper too.
(And I don’t just mean the roots!)
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Many thanks, CE.
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ouch
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Indeed 🙂
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