Conversation pieces

This piece is responding to the weekly Unicorn Challenge to write 250 words using a photo prompt. Disclosure Statement: This piece was written by A.I. aka Andy Ingerson, who lives around the corner from me.

Hello, sweetheart. Your Mum brought you here for a bit of time out the ‘ouse? Given you a few coins to buy a bargain? Well, I’ve got some historical treasures here.

Now, look at those roller skates, practically new. Little old lady only used ‘em to go to church on Sundays.

Nah, you’re right. No point in a brand new pair of roller skates when you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd. That’s what I always say.

What about that electric zombie killer? Wouldn’t want to waste it on eggs and tomarters when there’s all those undead lurkin’ about. Especially since I heard it through the grapevine there’s a flying purple people eater on the highway to hell. Know what I’m sayin’?

Yeah, yer prob’ly right, there’s nothin’ here to interest a clever modern girlie like you. Prob’ly more interested in boys at your age, ay? Oooh, look at you blush! Got a boyfriend then?

What’s that? A girlfriend? Nah, I meant like someone you’re sweet on. Oh, well, I hear it’s all the rage theses days. None of my business. Live and let live and all that. Nothin’ in this load of old tat for a present for her.

Only what was left in the back cupboard when me Mum died. Bring it here every week. To get out the ‘ouse. Never sold a cracker. I just hope someone turns up one day to tell me the real story about the roller skates.

You take care now, sweetheart.

14 thoughts on “Conversation pieces

  1. Love hs patter, Doug. Like Nancy, I’d have had to buy something.
    But a wee tinge of sadness too – ‘To get out the ‘ouse’ seems to loom large in his mind.
    And, of course, the comment on modern society… Nice.

    Liked by 1 person

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