Mr. Bean visits Dr. Fraud

/ Doug Jacquier

This piece was written for the weekly photo prompt from the Unicorn Challenge.

Are you comfortable, Mr. Bean?

Yes, thank you.

Before we start, a little housekeeping. Can you please use the coaster provided for your water glass. The rings are difficult to wipe off.

Sorry, I’m a bit nervous.

That’s fine. You’ll remember next time.

Yes.

Then let’s begin. Why have you brought a blunderbuss, a hat and blue glasses with you today?

They’re evidence.

Of what?

My ebaylia.

Sorry, what condition is that?

It’s the term used for Ebay addicts. I read about it on the internet.

Ah, Dr. Google strikes again. So you have a compulsion to buy things on Ebay?

Useless things. That’s the problem.

Can you tell me why?

It’s embarrassing.

Alright, why don’t you tell that imaginary person in the empty chair, so you don’t have to look at me.

Who should I imagine?

Someone with whom you would share an intimate secret.

I don’t have anyone like that. Can it be my teddy?

If that helps.

Alright then. Teddy, I’m an ebayliac. I have this addiction to buying useless things on Ebay. I bought a hat, when I hate hats. I bought some blue glasses, when I already knew they didn’t work. And lastly, a blunderbuss thingy, when I hate guns. I tell people that I don’t know why but I do. They’re symbolic of my own uselessness and lack of worth.

Excellent, Mr. Bean. I’m glad we got to the bottom of your problem so quickly. You can pay the receptionist on the way out.

27 thoughts on “Mr. Bean visits Dr. Fraud”

  2. Hi Doug! You came up in my reader! Surprise! and I am making a comment in that little slot instead of right on your blog page which was all but impossible to do. Now I’m trying to remember your story. Kidding! It is really funny! No kidding!

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  15. You couldn’t have written a better picture for that story! How else would you get those items together in one place, with droplets of water on the table and a partially hidden coaster under the hat? Then, to weave all those objects into one story is brilliant. I can’t say I care for Dr. Freud’s sparse office furnishings. They couldn’t be very comfortable for recalling your dreams or any other workings of your inner psyche. Great story. I think my addiction is Amazonitis. 🙂

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