This piece was written for the weekly photo prompt challenge offered by Jenne Gray and CE Ayr, aka the Unicorn Challenge
Look at her. Who does she think she is? Bloody Taylor Swift or summink? They’ve come to hear my legendary riffs, darlin’, not your caterwauling.
You think Keef Richards came up with all his stuff by himself? Nah! Off his face arf the time. But he was recording our old band on the sly and when he left he stole everyfink he learned from me.
And that keyboard ‘genius’ over there. All computers these days. Not like when I wrote ‘A Salad Full of Kale’ and those thievin’ bastards, Procol Harum, ripped it off and flogged it as ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’. Only had that one hit and I never saw a penny.
You name it, it’s been flogged from me. Sergeant Pepper? Colonel Leather when I wrote it. Bohemian Rhapsody? That was my masterpiece ‘Go get some chips and peas’.
But, between you and me, I’ve got a killer album under wraps and all the big labels are knockin’ on my door. Or at least they will when they hear it. Without givin’ too much away, it’s gonna be called ‘The Moon Side Of The Dark’.
Some of me best work on this one. ‘I knew it was love when me willy caught fire.’ ‘Goin’ up Penny Lane with Eleanor Rigby and Elvis.’ ‘The Day I ate the Monkees’. All of ‘em have got hit single written in neon lights.
Sorry, got to go now for the phony ending before the encore. Bit like my life really.
Every grifter has a story.
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Indeed they do and, as a former roadie, I’ve heard a few. 🙂
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Oh, we’ve all met someone like Grumpy Grandpa Guitarist.
But at least your ‘hero’ has witty resentment!
‘A salad full of kale’ – a perfect 21st century title!
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Thanks, Jenne. The look on the guitarist’s face was irresistible. 🙂
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Chuckle-a-long piece, Doug, reminds me of Kevin Johnson’s “Rock and Roll (I Gave You the Best Years of My Life)”.
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“I knew it was love when me willy caught fire”.
Hell, I’d put it on my playlist.
Funny stuff, Doug.
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Thanks, Nancy.
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I’m with the other old folks, corporate rock putting decals and glitter on the real music.
They should be required to have labels warning buyers. ‘Take a walk on the Mild Side.’ Warning! The abbreviation for the state of Florida is not FLA!
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In your dreams Grumpy G!
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You slay me, Man!
It’s like I fell off a motorcycle, putting along a country road, and I’m rolling through piles of gravel and long, grassy brush. And I come up laughing, still.
To wit: great wit!
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No gravel rash I hope. 🙂
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Ow.
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This is your roadie past coming into it’s own. I agree that GG’s face is priceless.
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Sure is 🙂
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