This piece was written for the weekly photo prompt from Ayr/Gray Studios, The Unicorn Challenge.
Co-directed by one of the Coen brothers and Steven Spielberg (is he even still alive?), this tawdry shock fest limps along to (spoiler alert) it’s inevitable ending. A clone of Stephen Hawking (Brad Pitt) battles to save the world from an alien invasion. Reporter Elspeth Rickenbacker of the London Daily Mail (Cate Blanchett), believes his warnings. CIA Director Samantha Kravitz (Frances McDormand, who may or may not be married to one of the co-directors), aided by her ruthless agent, Bandana Hucklebuck (Billy Bob Thornton) do their best to discredit the heroic pair. (They may be in the pay of the aliens but its murky.)
After denying their mutual attraction for a full 15 minutes, Hawking and Rickenbacker have vigorously athletic sex on Hawking’s desk (body doubles are used obviously; neither actor is getting any younger) before returning to the challenge.
They commandeer a NASA spacecraft and head out to destroy the aliens with Hawking’s newly developed weapon, the quantum reciprocating laser cannon (HAL2 for short). The alien craft swarm towards them like the 400 police cars pursuing Thelma and Louise. They comically all crash into each other and the special effects crew have a picnic of exploding alien spaceships (in full surround 120 decibel sound) that lasts for the next hour of the film.
The film closes with the birth of the heroes’ child (gender not to be revealed until the sequel) and a stirring speech about having saved humanity (or at least the American bit).
⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Six Crooked Highways 
Sounds like they could have done with Bruce Willis! LOL. But then, I hear he’s not in the best of health these days.
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Marvelous what they can do with CGI and deep fakes these days. 🙂
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Bandana Hucklebuck is right up there with Ian Flemings best. The males need suggestively unlikely names too. Fleming had galores of ’em for his female Bond beddables.
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Unfortunately Monta Wildhack had already been taken by Slaughterhouse 5. ;-)
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True true. Slaughterhouse Five- Now there’s a story about a long long time ago and whatever the future holds!
I remember seeing the movie, I thought it wasn’t bad for a film that was thought to be unfilmable.
Whatever happened to Valerie Perrine? She seemed to vanish from the screen after the 70s.
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She’s 80 now and suffering from Parkinson’s. She was absolutely brilliant in ‘Lenny’, with Dustin Hoffman. Dodged a bullet (or whatever) in not turning up for Charlie Manson’s party. An interesting life. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valerie_Perrine
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Thanks Doug, did not know about that party. Yep, she lucked out big time.
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It’ll be a hit for sure. It’s got all the ingredients – especially an hour of exploding alien spaceships. What a finale!! I’m so glad there’ll be a sequel. I’m hanging out for it. ‘Sal Amanda’!!! 🤣
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No doubt. 🙂
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Chuckle-inducing spoof of the review of a film that is itself a spoof.
Nice one, Doug.
Favourite bit? Sal Amanda!
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Glad you liked it.
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it’s that 120 decibel spike every thirty-three seconds that keeps me out of the theatre… preferring to watch from home where I can mute the sound and turn on the captions!
;p
fun story
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Thanks, clark.
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So funny – made my day!
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And your comment made mine. 🙂
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I felt I was watching along. I’m going to read it again, this time with popcorn to scoff. Oscarlicious!
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Don’t forget to keep your feet off the seats. 🙂
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Bandana Hucklebuck. Need I say more, other than “thank our lucky stars for body doubles”!
This was hilarious and I’d definitely go see it! I’ll save you a seat. 🍿
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Many thanks, Nancy. Spare me the popcorn. 🙂
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You know, with that list of stars and the Coen brothers writing and directing, it could turn out to be a cult hit! Just sayin’…
No AI necessary!
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Yeah, right. 😉
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