This piece was written for the Unicorn Challenge, a weekly prompt to riff on a photo for up to 250 words.
Waddya reckon, Shazza? Unrestricted water views.
Where are the grandkids gonna play? There’s not even a beach!
Good. They won’t be trackin’ sand all through the house.
And there’s nowhere safe to swim. What are they gonna do all day?
Make things. Play Monopoly.
But they live on their screens.
Got that covered, Shaz. No phone reception, no wifi. They can learn something about the environment.
And what if they fall into the environment, off the edge of that bloody great cliff?
I’ll build a fence.
Well, there goes the ‘unrestricted water views’.
Why do you always have to be so negative? You said you wanted somewhere the grandkids could come and get some fresh air.
Fresh air? There’s a force 10 gale blowin’ out there. God knows what they’ll be like after they’ve been locked in the house with no phones for a few days.
Always the drama queen, Shaz. I’d take them to the shops.
The nearest shopping centre is 100 k’s away, ya Wally.
So I take it you don’t think it’s a good idea?
Got it in one, Sherlock.
Gotta say I’m disappointed, Shazza. Still, now I can go with Davo, Jock and Johnno on that golf trip.
You devious bastard. You set me up, didnya?
You be careful on the edge of that cliff, my love. Wouldn’t want you to have a nasty accident.
Six Crooked Highways 
Location location golf vacation.
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Bloody oath, Obbo.
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Well, there you go – a perfect piece of marital manipulation!
Read and learn!
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Talk about reverse psychology! I think someone needs to have a word in Shazza’s ear. She’s lived with Bazza long enough to have grandkids and she hasn’t twigged to his little games???
Very funny. Love the voices.
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Some people are just slow learners, Margaret. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Hilarious! And I’ve no doubt those are real names. Excellent write, Doug.
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Oh, yes, they are in Australia, Nancy. Shazza = Sharon, Bazza = Barry, Gary = Gazza, and so on. Similarly, David = Davo, Johnno = John etc. And then there’s brekky = breakfest, dunny = toilet, cossy = bathing costume, Brizzy = Brisbane and the list goes on. You can complete your education here, https://www.birdgehls.com/introduction-australian-slang/
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Excellent link!
I have friends in Birkenhead and Liverpool so I’m familiar with brekky, cossy, cheese toastie, peckish, knackered, New Bro (New Brighton), etc. I’ve known what a “Nancy” is for a long time, too, which gives rise to the question “Just what were Gilbert & Sullivan trying to tell us in “A Wandering Minstrel” by using the phrase ‘With his Nancy on his knee’?”
Hmm.
😅
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Well, sailors, you know, especially ones called Naki-Poo. 😉
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Dougy or Dougo?
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Neither if you want to stay on my (mythical) Christmas card list. Although I do appreciate my old Pop’s approach: ‘Call me whatever you like. Just make sure you call me when dinner’s ready.’
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Lol.
So……….. Douglas it is?
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reel’d ’em right in
lol
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“fall into the environment” I’ve got pictures rolling through my head, now, and I’m laughing!
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Thanks, Liz 🙂
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A hole in one, brilliant!
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