Little Miss Shenanigans

I woke at dawn to re-design our house,

my life,

the organised world

and all who sail in her.

I asked the dawn-bird,

as the only stakeholder in attendance,

to add his thoughts to the Situation Analysis.

Unthrilled and shrill,

he snapped tight his sticky beak

and was unforthcoming,

indifferent

and unmindful of my learning.

I thanked him for the familiar experience.

 

Free at last,

I plotted endless variations

on new children’s tales,

featuring Little Miss Shenanigans,

and her parents, Dreadful and Shameless,

a farter and burper, respectively.

Granted a wish by a leprechaun,

the Little Miss curses her progenitors

with the appearance of a wombat and an emu, respectively,

at each impolite expulsion.

 

Thus, I funned myself to sleep

and woke up to myself,

hoping I’d not slept too long.

Chermoula-topped salmon

Source: Healthy Food Guide

Serves 4

Ingredients

1 tablespoon olive oil
3 teaspoons moroccan spice mix
1 garlic clove, chopped
2 large tomatoes, chopped

2 tablespoons coriander, chopped l red onion, diced

Juice and zest of 2 lemons

4 x 80g salmon fillets

2 sweet potatoes (600g), scrubbed
cooking oil spray
1/2 teaspoon chilli flakes

Salad
4 cups baby spinach

1 red onion, diced
1 celery stalk, diced
4 tablespoons fresh orange juice
2 yellow nectarines, sliced

 

Method
1. Combine olive oil, 2 teaspoons of the moroccan spice, garlic, tomato, coriander, and juice and zest of 1 lemon in a medium bowl to make the chermoula. Season with cracked black pepper and set aside.
2. Mix remaining spice, lemon juice and lemon zest in a small bowl. Brush mixture onto the salmon fillets and set aside,
3. Cut sweet potato into wedges. Bring a large saucepan of water to the boil. Add potato and cook for 5 minutes, or until almost tender, then drain and place on a heated grill pan or barbecue hotplate. Spray potato with cooking oil and sprinkle with chilli flakes. Cook, turning once and spraying with cooking oil again, for l0 minutes, or until potato is crisp and golden.
4. Put all the salad ingredients in a large salad bowl and toss to combine. Grill reserved salmon in pan or on hotplate for 2 minutes per side, or until cooked to your liking. Top
fillets with a little chermoula, and serve with wedges, salad and a side of remaining chermoula.

 

 

 

Burgundian fish stew

Source: David Herbert

Ingredients

1 tablespoon olive oil
2 shallots, chopped
100g diced fatty bacon
or pancetta
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 cup white wine
2 cups fish, chicken or vegetable stock
400g small mushrooms, sliced
800g white fish, cut into cubes

Method

Heat oil in a frying pan over medium heat; add shallots and bacon or pancetta. Cook, stirring occasionally, until shallots are soft, translucent and just beginning to caramelise. Add herbs, garlic, wine and stock. Add sliced mushrooms to pan, bring to the boil, then reduce heat and simmer until tender (10-15 minutes). When nearly ready to serve, add fish and simmer for 7-8 minutes until just done. Season to taste and serve with crusty bread.

Serves 3-4

Slow-roasted pork shoulder with garlic, citrus and coriander

Obviously Jewish and Muslim people and vegans/vegetarians should look away now.

It looks more complicated than it is but believe me it’s well worth the effort for a special occasion.

Source: Alison Roman

In almost any form, a large hunk of pork is predisposed to deliciousness. The sheer size of a pork shoulder, in addition to the abundance of marbled fat throughout, makes it nearly impossible to mess up; unlike a standing rib roast or a rack of lamb, you’re not aiming for rare, which takes a lot of the pressure off. This flavourful cut of meat is best slow cooked, then sliced when it’s just tender enough. That said, if it were to fall apart into melt-in-the-mouth shreddy bits, would that really be the worst thing?

Serves 8

Ingredients
1.6-1.8kg boneless, skinless pork shoulder, any twine or netting removed
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 orange, halved
2 garlic bulbs, halved lengthways
6 thyme sprigs
3 fresh or dried bay leaves .
3 dried red chillies, or 1 teaspoon crushed chilli flakes
2 tablespoons coriander seeds
250ml (1 cup) orange juice
1/2 bunch coriander, thick stems separated from the tender stems and leaves
4 limes, halved

Method

Preheat oven to 165°C. Season pork with salt and pepper.

Heat vegetable oil in a large, heavy- based saucepan (with a lid) over medium-high heat. Sear pork, fat side down, until it’s really well browned, which should take 8-10
minutes. Turn pork over and brown on the other side for another 8-10
minutes.

Transfer to a large serving platter or cutting board, and drain pan of all but 1 tablespoon of fat. Add orange and garlic to pan, cut side down, followed by thyme, bay leaves, chillies and coriander seeds. Cook, stirring for a second, to lightly brown the orange and
garlic.

Add orange juice and 500ml (2 cups) water, stirring to scrape up any bits on the bottom. Return pork to the pan; the liquid should come a little less than halfway up the meat (add more water if it doesn’t).

Cover pan and transfer to oven. Roast pork until it is super-tender; ideally you want to be able to slice it, not shred it. This should take roughly 3-4 hours.

Remove pan from oven and, using tongs or two large serving utensils, transfer pork
to a cutting board and let it rest for a few minutes.
Chop thicker stems of coriander and add to pan with pork juices.
Juice 2 limes into pan, throwing spent limes in, too.

Slice pork and return it to pan with any juices; alternatively, place sliced pork on
a large serving platter and ladle juices over it. Top pork with remaining coriander before serving, along with remaining lime halves for squeezing over.

Mexican tortilla bake

A favorite of my nephew, Joel.

Ingredients
For the mince
1 tbsp olive oil
2 large onions, chopped
500g beef mince
1 mild red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped
1 red pepper deseeded and diced
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tbsp ground cumin
1 tbsp ground coriander
2 tbsp tomato purée
1-2 tbsp mango chutney
2 x 400g tins chopped tomatoes
1 small bunch fresh coriander, chopped
salt and freshly ground black pepper

To assemble
3 large tortilla wraps
250g full-fat mascarpone
100g mozzarella grated
100g cheddar

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C/140C
Pour the oil into a large ovenproof frying pan over a medium heat, add the onions and fry for 3 minutes. Turn up the heat, add the mince and fry until brown, breaking the meat up with a wooden spoon and stirring occasionally.
Add the chilli, red pepper, garlic and spices and fry for 5 minutes, or until all the moisture has evaporated and the mixture is quite dry. Stir in the tomato purée, mango chutney, tinned tomatoes and salt and black pepper. Cover with a lid, bring to the boil and transfer to the oven to simmer for an hour.
Remove from the oven and stir in half the coriander. Increase the oven temperature to 2OOC/180C Fan
Spread a third of the cooked mince beef mixture over the bottom of the ovenproof dish and lay one tortilla wrap on top. Spread a third of the mascarpone (see tip) over the tortilla and sprinkle with a third of each of the mozzarella and cheddar cheeses. Repeat twice more so you have 3 layers.
Bake in the oven for about 25 minutes until golden-brown and bubbling. Set aside for 5 minutes before serving and garnish with the remaining coriander.

Recipe Tips
If your mascarpone is firm, you might find it easier to spread the mascarpone on each tortilla first before adding to the dish.
If covered and chilled in the fridge, you can assemble this dish up to 6 hours ahead. Simply bake at 200C/180C Fan for 25 minutes, or until golden and bubbling.

Pear and caramel pudding

Source: David Herbert

One of Sue’s absolute favorites.

PEAR & CARAMEL PUDDING

Ingredients

Butter, for greasing
1 cup plain flour
2/3 cup caster sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
100ml milk
1 egg, beaten
4 ripe pears, peeled and cut into 2cm pieces
1/2 cup chopped pecans

Caramel sauce
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
60g butter, melted
Pinch sea salt
150ml boiling water
Vanilla ice cream, to serve

Method

Preheat oven to 170°C (fan). Grease a 20cm square ceramic baking dish with a little butter. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, ginger and 1/4 teaspoon of salt. Beat in milk and egg until combined. Stir in pears and pecans. Spoon into prepared dish and place dish on a flat oven tray (this will save your oven if it bubbles over).

Combine brown sugar, melted butter, sea salt and boiling water; pour over the pears. Bake, uncovered, for 45-50 minutes. Serve warm with ice cream. Serves 6-8

 

The Crazy Cactus Lady of Bella St.

For my wife, Sue

 

So, just deserts it will be.

Whines will not become water.

There will be no Selling Houses Australia’s of rain to make-over summer.

The trees will be her cathedral-ceiling Grand Designs.

The Amazing Spaces will be in her mind.

If she cannot have abundance,

she will have succulence.

Twas ever thus

and ever it shall be

that, from clouds of poverty,

she will make it rain love.

She will raise her green children

as she has raised all her children,

with every faltering step a giant stride

through her Rosie-coloured glasses.

Still crazy after all these years.

 

Everything is Rosie in the garden

For my wife, Sue

 

Everything is Rosie in the garden

The touch of her hand is everywhere

covering all the ground

nurturing the native

gathering in the orphan

weeding out the evil

feeding the strugglers

watering the thirsty

tough-loving the growth

leaving space

weaving magic

sewing hope

visioning dreams

picturing flight

staking the future

creating legacy

building the earth

and loving the lost.

A mother’s lament

In the outer suburbs, in the space between the bush and the town,

therapy is what you get from a physio.

When the cracks appear in the plaster

and they start to match up with your mind,

because the foundations have slipped,

you ask not for whom the telephone bell tolls

because it never tolls for thee.

 

In the silence you can hear Death whispering

and your GP says ‘take these’.

You scream at the TV and the three-piece suite

and the made-to-measure lined drapes,

‘I invested in you, where is my dividend?’

And these things scream back their nothing response.

 

Your children, who abandoned your church

tell you to take up yoga and your mouth says ‘yes’

and your heart says ‘is that all there is?’

You’ve played the game

and did what you had to do

and you come to the end

and your kids feed you mumbo jumbo they’ve picked up

with the education that cost your world to give,

their clever minds and dumb hearts deaf to your rhythms and your reality.

 

You wish to God your own parents had owned up to this swindle

and that you could stop counting the ghosts

that fill in the gaps in the queue of your past people.

 

And that your grandchildren knew more about you

than your bottomless pit of little presents.

And that that bastard who mows his lawns at 7 a.m. on Sundays

would stop without having to be asked.

 

And that any of it made any sense.

And that everything would just stop for a while

while you get your bearings

so that you could know …….. not everything

but just one thing that you were sure was true

for now and for ever

instead of watching the cracks spreading

in all of the plaster.

The City of Doubt

And what are we?

 

Are we numbly loose-lipped and post-prandial

on full-bellied summer Sundays,

raising one more delicious inconsequence

before a snores-pause?

 

Are we strokers and pokers

skilled in orificial correspondence

set to midnight music?

 

Are we combat-ready for the blood-letting

of nights at the round table,

at ease with full-fired intellect and born again bullshit

delivered in the self-same breath?

 

Are we wanderers in temples of tree and stone

in the familiar and foreign,

building ourselves from the known and unknown

with equal reverence

in the blinding dark?

 

Or are we dead-safe?

Sated, superannuated, deflated

in a wait-for-age handicap

over the mortgage distance,

constantly withdrawing options from the hole in the wall

of Life?

 

We, the refugees,

are in danger of retreat from the siege on the City of Doubt,

of being drunk on the poison of ambition,

of cloning our self-encumbered view,

of belief in ever-libidinous loins,

of living a well-rehearsed death.

 

Now, as we stand on the edge

of the Chasm of Indecision,

do we build safety bridges across the leaping flames

or do we take leaps of faith,

fearing Death will cheat delay?

 

Or do we set up camp

and wait for the Lotto results?

 

And for which will we love ourselves the most?