This piece was written for the Six Sentence Challenge, with the prompt word of ‘guide’.
Browsing on Ebay, I stumbled upon a book entitled ‘A Guide to Hell – The Alternative Facts’ by B. L. Zebub, with a description that read ‘Learn what the corrupt elites don’t want you to know about an alternative AfterLife’ and offered for sale by the highly rated Seller, Q. Anon.
My winning bid brought this tome (smelling somewhat of sulfur) to my home and I immediately began to explore ‘Chapter 1 – It is NOT hot in Hell’, which informed me that, contrary to all the lies, Hell’s residents enjoy the very pleasant warmth of those lazy Hades days of summer.
Chapter 2 made it clear that the soundscape does NOT consist of wailing and lamentations but instead the joyful sounds emanating from residents enjoying the mud baths and the hot tubs.
As the chapters unfolded, I learned that the Lake of Fire is actually a very pleasant place to go sailing and that the so-called ‘brimstone’ is actually the charcoal used on the myriad barbecues where the residents enjoy gnashing their teeth on a cornucopia of culinary delights provided by Mr. T. Rump, St. Alin and Miaow C. Tong.
In the final chapter, The Real Revelations, I learned the secret codes used for programs to imprison the citizenry (e.g. Covid = Centralised Oligarchy via Vaccinations, Internet and Disinformation).
When I’d finished reading, I congratulated myself on my investment; after all, signing over my brain was small price to pay for The Truth and, besides, I wasn’t using it anyway.
Good one!
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Thanks, Janis
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Good description of what the COVID acronym stands for. If I were in a mud bath or a hot tub (for very long) the noises I’d be making would probably sound like wailing and lamentations.
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🙂
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This one earned you a special place in heaven. Which is a special place. (What is the acronym?)
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OK, got me stumped. 🙂
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Well done, Doug.
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Thanks, Judy
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Lazy Hades days of summer- wordplayed! But I’m sure the old Forked Tongue Devil speaks well of the QAnon factually alternative point of view- he’s quite willing to give the truth a decent spin.
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Thanks, Obb. I can’t swear that I get the second bit so I’ll just nod sagely. 😉
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Good word play, Doug, and an entertaining view of hell. ‘…the lazy Hades days of summer…’ Love it!
Giving over his brain in exchange for The Truth kinda sounds like what we’re invited to do on a daily basis by the media. Definitely saves us using our brains if we buy into it.
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Thanks, Jenne, and amen to your comments.
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Fun Six.
Not overly punishing to the Reader*
* I swore I wouldn’t try that… not with you and Miz Avery in da house… but, hell, I made it through the Sixties, so how much prudent anticipation can I still have?
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Thanks, clark. Not a lot I would have thought. 🙂
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Slow clap and oh, dear
Good job
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Thanks, UP
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More alternative truths, eh? Certainly a step up from Dante’s version 😉
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More truths than you can shake a hick at. 😉
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It is a common practice to write titles of books in this manner. But I’m super impressed with your full form of Covid. Would like to share it with due credits.
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Thank you, Reena. Go for it. 🙂
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Well done, indeed!
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Thanks, Mimi
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Excellent, Doug. I remember the first time I heard “alternative facts” used as an argument in a news story on NPR, I believe. Part of me was incredulous there are those who will, with a straight face, offer “alternative facts” simply because they don’t like the real facts. (Yes, Ozzy, we’re going off the rails on a crazy train.”
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Thanks, Denise. A post-truth world is my worst nightmare.
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They say don’t judge a book by its cover, but sometimes the contents are suspect, as well.
Uffda!
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🙂
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A brilliant six, especially the COVID acronym. Omicron, the latest strain is an acronym for moronic!
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Many thanks, Keith. If your anagram is original that’s brilliant. If not, it’s still hilarious. 🙂
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