These pieces were written for the Six Sentence Challenge, with the prompt word of ‘match’
- From the Bungle Bungles Bugle Classifieds
Donna E. Mobile, born to Concetta Verdi and Homer Mobile in their camper van, somewhere between Yackandandah and Teddy Bear’s Gap, brother for Apple and Orange.
Abel Paradise-Gardener, born to Eve Paradise and Adam Gardener, brother for Cain, in the Gardens of Eden Hospital in Woop Woop.
Salome Dancer (nee Zup) married Rudolph Reindeer in the freezer at the Yorkey’s Knob Supermarket, with the bridesmaids wearing earmuffs and the groomsmen wearing codpieces.
Gladys ‘Slippery’ Slide married Arthur ‘Azza’ Rule at the Bottom Hole Buffeteria, in matching woodwork aprons, with the couple to adopt the married name of Slide-Rule.
Quaker Wilde Oates, died suddenly at 96 at Mount Mistake, shot by a jealous husband, mourned by an unknown number of offspring.
Phyllis Tine, died at Useless Loop, aged 64, when her lifelong floor-to-ceiling collection of home decorating magazines collapsed on her in her bed.
(Note: All locations mentioned in this piece are actual places in Australia.)
2. It’s in his DNA
Bert: Hi, Dave, how’s it going with that historical DNA database project?
Dave: Progressing every day, Bert, as we get more and more access to graves, items worn by currently and historically interesting people, samples from known descendants and all manner of sources.
Bert: Well, Dave, I have to say that I’m beginning to hear a lot of scientists pooh-poohing the idea that such tracing is even possible, let alone reliable, and that it’s mostly a commercial scam.
Dave: Just setting aside that professional and personal insult for the moment, Bert, what would it take to convince you of the validity of our work?
Bert: Assuming you’ve got a sample for Vladimir Putin, run that through your system and let’s see what comes up.
Dave: (after several minutes) We have a match! Joseb Besarionis dze Jughashvili, born in Georgia in 1879, later adopting the name Joseph Stalin …. Bert, Bert, wake up, speak to me, Bert..