This piece was written for the Six Sentence Challenge, with the prompt word of ‘coffee’ (which is a name misleadingly given by Starbucks to 497 varieties of brown dishwater served in buckets to entitled millennial wannabes who place orders longer and louder than the Gettysburg Address).
Over coffee, Arabella was lamenting the loss of her latest boyfriend with her friend, Babs, when Babs interrupted to say that the trouble with Arabella was that she was far too serious and should be more bubbly.
Arabella was appalled by the idea of pretending to be an airhead to attract a man, so the next evening at a social event when a man approached her, before he could speak, she blurted out ‘I’m a committed environmentalist and I hate jokes.’
The man smiled and asked if she would accompany him to the Natural History Museum this Sunday to see the exhibition on the effects of plastics in oceans.
Agreeably surprised, Arabella agreed but when she arrived address he’d given her, he said he’d had a better idea and had hired a boat so they could go looking for dolphins, which delighted Arabella even more.
However, mid-boat-trip, he stopped the engine, dropped his pants and lunged at her, with his willie wagging like a metronome.
Arabella’s self-defense training kicked in instinctively and, while the man was still groin-groaning, she threw him overboard, ignoring his pleas that he couldn’t swim, and as his last effervescence rose to the surface, she immediately felt …. more bubbly.
Six Crooked Highways 
Well done! You and Arabella.
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🙂
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What choice did she have. That’d make me feel more bubbly, too.
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🙂
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No breathless airhead for that devious gasper.
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… and grasper 🙂
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So descriptive I could almost visualise the scene – unfortunately!
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Thanks, Keith. 🙂
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Still laughing here. Go, Arabella!
There are images that it’ll take more than a cup of coffee to forget!
Nice one, you had fun with it, didn’t you?
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Oh, I did, Jenne. No point otherwise. 🙂
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great job
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Thanks, UP.
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I shouldn’t probably root for Arabella as I did in the end. I would surely feel more bubbly too… Hate metronomes… eek.
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If I’d known that about you and metronomes I would have provided a trigger warning. 🙂
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The Six…yes, Dougesque.
But the parenthesis of the intro…a Chuck roundhouse kick!
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Glad you thought so. 🙂
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Hey, Doug, you got Arabella’s number by any chance?
My kinda gal!
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Given your propensities, ceayr, that may be a death wish. 🙂
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OMG! I love this! This is what dating is like these days, and more often than not, you get told to be something you’re not. The only people who seem to accept anything other than a vacant air head are your friends, or your secret enemies who all should be lucky enough that we just watch their effervescence evaporate into a distant memory. I love this. It made me cheer lol
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So glad it brightened your day, Marla. 🙂
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Thank you again!
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First things first, Doug. Thank you! I’d begun to think I was the only person to think Starbucks coffee was awful, lol At least the hot stuff they pass off as coffee. Frozen latte type drink desserts? Well, what can I say but grab me a straw, please 😁
Sad Arabella believes Babs is a friend. She needs to dump Babs and embrace who she is… a total badass!
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Glad you enjoyed the Starbucks squelch. I have visited the US many times, so I know whereof I speak. I remember scouring San Francisco with a Spanish friend for a decent espresso and finding a small French cafe which became our bolt hole.
As for Arabella being a badass, I’ll bow to your expert knowledge. 🙂
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