This piece was written for the Six Sentence Challenge, with the prompt word of ‘confetti’.
Brad realised later that he should have been expecting it but when he arrived at the church for his second wedding, he was surprised to find a shiny black hearse wrapped in a black ribbon and bow (and filled with confetti) blocking the entrance, and with all of its tyres let down so it couldn’t be moved.
Just like he should have been suspicious when his first wife, Brenda, had seemed happy after the divorce to hand over to him the expensive leather Chesterfield furniture they’d bought together, only to find a few weeks later that she’d inserted frozen fish into the base of the couch and two recliners, which became only too apparent after a week or so of central heating.
Life had just been getting back on to an even keel after an ‘anonymous’ (aka Brenda) fake news tip-off to the Taxation Office that Brad and his new fiancé, Angelique (she of the Grand Canyon cleavage and the non-child-bearing hips), were laundering money for a Colombian drug cartel.
Brad had pleaded his case with Brenda that he had only instigated the divorce after her affair with his brother, Kingsley, but she dismissed his outrage by claiming one-night stands didn’t really count in the grand scheme of things and, besides, Kingsley was a lousy lay anyway, which she reasoned Brad could use to unsettle him the next time they played golf.
So unfolded their divorce, which made Armageddon look like a genteel tea party and which paid for their respective lawyers’ holiday homes and their wives’ cosmetic surgery in Paris and their children’s university fees.
Brad reasoned that it was all worth it in exchange for a life of wedded bliss with the magnificent Angelique, until a Lamborghini swept up the church driveway, paused just long enough for him to see the passionate embrace and deep kiss between Brenda and Angelique, and then sped off into the setting sun.
Six Crooked Highways 
Very good Doug. A nice twist 😀
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Thanks, Brian. A twist of lemon for the sourness, I think. 🙂
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It looks like Brenda not only got even by her own standards of even, but even got Angelique.
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Until Angelique has outlived her usefulness I suspect. 😉
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Talk about some hard luck, Chuck, lol
Real kicker for Brad at the end!
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The ultimate revenge. Bet Angelique doesn’t last long with Brenda though. 🙂
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Love the way it ends ☺️. Nice one 👏
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Twist after twist after twist…
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Revenge can take amusing forms like stuffing fish in furniture 🙂 And I’d love to be in the lawyer’s place.
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Thanks, Reena. Wouldn’t we all. 🙂
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Revenge is a bitch.
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… and then you die. 😉
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Oh dear, it started badly and ended badlier (not a word but you know what I mean!)
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Badlier added to my lexicon, along with gooderer. 🙂
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ok… enjoyed the build-up fueling this Reader’s sense of outrage on behalf of the protagonist.
Last sentence! Genuine SOL*
good ‘un, yo
*smiled outloud
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Many thanks, clark. Some gutpunch line, huh? 🙂
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Ol’ Brad not having the best of days, hmm?
Still, at least Kingsley (Kingsley? Really?) missed out on this wife, so small mercies and things.
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Kingsley’s my local publican. Not sure he’d want aspersions cast on his prowess but it goes with the territory when you have a memorable name. 😉
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Whoa, Brenda seems like a psychopath. I did not see the twist at the end coming either. I wish I could like this one more than once!
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Many thanks, Anne. Somehow for me psychopaths and other deviants are easier to write, which is a bit of a worry. 😉
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Excellent unexpected ending, Doug!
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Many thanks, Chris.
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I started smiling when I saw the title, Doug, and the story didn’t disappoint. The great descriptions and the dry, dark humour… Poor Brad though. (And I can’t help thinking poor Angelique too at some point in their future. That Brenda!!)
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Many thanks, Jenne. Yes, I suspect Angelique will become collateral damage from wicked Brenda very soon. 🙂
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A never ending hell hole for Brad.
Though I wouldn’t assign poor to his character since usually he goes looking for it.
Wondering what music could soundtrack the last scene…maybe the first minute from Difficult to cure by Rainbow?
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Its’s funny that I never think of a soundtrack for my stories but I do see some as mini movies.
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I hear you.
I seem to do that instinctively from a very young age and now, you know how the saying goes:
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
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