Altar egos

This piece was written for the Six Sentence Challenge, with the prompt word of ‘confetti’.

Brad realised later that he should have been expecting it but when he arrived at the church for his second wedding, he was surprised to find a shiny black hearse wrapped in a black ribbon and bow (and filled with confetti) blocking the entrance, and with all of its tyres let down so it couldn’t be moved.

Just like he should have been suspicious when his first wife, Brenda, had seemed happy after the divorce to hand over to him the expensive leather Chesterfield furniture they’d bought together, only to find a few weeks later that she’d inserted frozen fish into the base of the couch and two recliners, which became only too apparent after a week or so of central heating.

Life had just been getting back on to an even keel after an ‘anonymous’ (aka Brenda) fake news tip-off to the Taxation Office that Brad and his new fiancé, Angelique (she of the Grand Canyon cleavage and the non-child-bearing hips), were laundering money for a Colombian drug cartel.

Brad had pleaded his case with Brenda that he had only instigated the divorce after her affair with his brother, Kingsley, but she dismissed his outrage by claiming one-night stands didn’t really count in the grand scheme of things and, besides, Kingsley was a lousy lay anyway, which she reasoned Brad could use to unsettle him the next time they played golf.

So unfolded their divorce, which made Armageddon look like a genteel tea party and which paid for their respective lawyers’ holiday homes and their wives’ cosmetic surgery in Paris and their children’s university fees.

Brad reasoned that it was all worth it in exchange for a life of wedded bliss with the magnificent Angelique, until a Lamborghini swept up the church driveway, paused just long enough for him to see the passionate embrace and deep kiss between Brenda and Angelique, and then sped off into the setting sun.

27 thoughts on “Altar egos

  1. I started smiling when I saw the title, Doug, and the story didn’t disappoint. The great descriptions and the dry, dark humour… Poor Brad though. (And I can’t help thinking poor Angelique too at some point in their future. That Brenda!!)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A never ending hell hole for Brad.
    Though I wouldn’t assign poor to his character since usually he goes looking for it.
    Wondering what music could soundtrack the last scene…maybe the first minute from Difficult to cure by Rainbow?

    Liked by 1 person

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