This piece is my response to the photo challenge that is the latest in Jenne and CE’s excellent adventure, and where no unicorns are harmed during production.
Don’t judge. You’d be depressed too if you had to sit here and listen to the same old shite every day from idiots dragged here by their better half and determined to make them pay by mocking all they don’t see.
Singing Gloria Gaynor off key, ‘First, I was afraid, I was petrified’.
‘Wonder if he’s got a wooden heart. Har, har, har.’
‘Make a great fireplace feature. Har, har, har.’
‘Wooden it be luvverly. Har, har, har.’
If only the Gods of Art would grant me special powers of metamorphosis, to be re-born as an avenging angel, travelling the world and meting out justice to the pea-brained philistines who have spread like a plague across the cosmos, aided and abetted by the WWW (World Wide Wankers).
Let me be able to paraphrase the words of Ezekiel and Samuel (updated for modern inclusiveness), ‘The path of the righteous man and woman is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men and women. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, for you have attempted to poison and destroy my brothers and sisters.’
And let me be able to leave them in my place in the gallery, listening to ‘I think this must have been the inspiration for Norwegian Wood, if you get my drift.’
Let them serve their time doing har, har, hard labour.
Six Crooked Highways 
Laughing.
Wrong side of the bed again, Doug?
I especially liked ‘Wooden it be…’
LikeLiked by 1 person
No. Just reminded of a quote from Mad Magazine back in the 60’s.
‘My kid at kindergarten could’ve painted that.’
‘Yes, and they probably could say something more intelligent.’ 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Norwegian Wood, if you catch my drift”
I sea what you did there, two for one, nets and bobbers and Beatles and all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
Excellent rant, Doug, and very punny.
I hear works of art everywhere shouting ‘Yay for DJ!’
Facing the day with a smile now…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Then my work here is done. 🙂
LikeLike
Imagine putting up with that day after day! Nice one Doug.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Keith. Yes, it would be beyond a nightmare.
LikeLike
This gave me far more sympathy for Walmart greeters. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not familiar with them but I think I get the picture. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You gave me a good laugh with your tongue in cheek comments. Fun piece!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Many thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As long as they speak English there.
What fun with wordation your stories are.
Keep it up. Very pithy*
* hey, I had to try>/em>, right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, clark. 🙂
LikeLike