This piece was written for the Six Sentence Challenge, with the prompt word of ‘board’.

Big Sister’s first act after she was elected as Prime Minister was to establish the Social Crimes Commission (which would soon become known as SOCC and lead to the expression ‘I’ve been SOCCed’) and it didn’t take long for the Commission to draw up its initial hit list of social crimes, including the crime of refusing to take personal responsibility for your actions and your future self-sufficiency.

How the Mob cheered when Big Sister compulsorily acquired former schools, office buildings and factories to turn them into Personal Responsibility Action Centres (PRACs), which provided education, training (including basic hygiene, bed-making, washing your own clothes, cooking and budgeting) and community work assignments; as Big Sister said (and the Mob nodded approvingly), ‘staring at a screen is not a career’.

And the Mob were almost orgasmic in their support for the new Corporate Responsibility Action Payment Plan (which led to a new term, being CRAPPed on) which required Board members and senior executives who had presided over theft, greed and deception in their companies to remedy their crimes by working for no pay until full reparation was achieved or attend a PRAC in an area where the most customers who were affected by their crimes lived.

Many Board members had to be re-trained into real jobs and rookies from the ranks of real estate agents, lawyers, financial advisors, professional sports people, media stars and Insta influencers could be seen everywhere in RED squads (Repairing Environmental Damage); as Big Sister said, ‘every adult needs to understand that the world is not a toilet’.

Inevitably, those who had lost their wealth tried to recruit the military to lead a violent overthrow of the new order but it all fizzled out when all military personnel were placed on generous salaries for life; as Big Sister said, ‘whoever has the gold and the guns, rules’.

Finally Big Sister announced that it was the Will of the People and the gift of modern science that she become Prime Minister for Eternity, so elections and political parties and Parliaments were no longer necessary; as Big Sister said, ‘my critics may describe my rule as a circus but I bring all the fun of the fair’.

This piece was written for the Six Sentence Challenge, with the prompt word of ‘rhythm’.

Sheila said ‘I love your enthusiasm, Jim, but you’re a bit rushed; a girl prefers it if you take it slow and steady.’

Jim, a little nonplussed, replied ‘But you said you liked your partner to a be a bit forceful and manly’.

‘Oh, I do’, purred Sheila, ‘but not right away; a girl has to be ready for the big moment.’

‘But how will I know when that is?’ Jim stammered in puzzlement.

‘When I pull you close, you’ll know that I’m ready for the finale’ blushed Sheila. ‘Jim, darling, ballroom dancing is all about rhythm.’

This piece was for the Carrot Ranch 99-word weekly challenge, with the prompt of ‘baby ducks ate my lunch’.

That skinny German tourist’s leg didn’t really agree with me yesterday. Mostly gristle and I’ve still got lederhosen stuck in my teeth. Parked the rest of him under a log for a few days to mature.

Still feeling a pit peckish. Saw a mother duck and brood floating past. I thought ‘Yum, baby ducks’. Ate my lunch and had a nap in the sun on the river bank. Later, mother duck came back searching for her ducklings. She looked so distressed I put her out of her misery.

Sentimental I know but that’s just the sweet guy I am.

These pieces were written for the Six Sentence Challenge, with the prompt word of ‘match’

1. From the Bungle Bungles Bugle Classifieds

Hatch

Donna E. Mobile, born to Concetta Verdi and Homer Mobile in their camper van, somewhere between Yackandandah and Teddy Bear’s Gap, brother for Apple and Orange.

Abel Paradise-Gardener, born to Eve Paradise and Adam Gardener, brother for Cain, in the Gardens of Eden Hospital in Woop Woop.

Match

Salome Dancer (nee Zup) married Rudolph Reindeer in the freezer at the Yorkey’s Knob Supermarket, with the bridesmaids wearing earmuffs and the groomsmen wearing codpieces.

Gladys ‘Slippery’ Slide married Arthur ‘Azza’ Rule at the Bottom Hole Buffeteria, in matching woodwork aprons, with the couple to adopt the married name of Slide-Rule.

Dispatch

Quaker Wilde Oates, died suddenly at 96 at Mount Mistake, shot by a jealous husband, mourned by an unknown number of offspring.

Phyllis Tine, died at Useless Loop, aged 64, when her lifelong floor-to-ceiling collection of home decorating magazines collapsed on her in her bed.

(Note: All locations mentioned in this piece are actual places in Australia.)

2. It’s in his DNA

Bert: Hi, Dave, how’s it going with that historical DNA database project?

Dave: Progressing every day, Bert, as we get more and more access to graves, items worn by currently and historically interesting people, samples from known descendants and all manner of sources.

Bert: Well, Dave, I have to say that I’m beginning to hear a lot of scientists pooh-poohing the idea that such tracing is even possible, let alone reliable, and that it’s mostly a commercial scam.

Dave: Just setting aside that professional and personal insult for the moment, Bert, what would it take to convince you of the validity of our work?

Bert: Assuming you’ve got a sample for Vladimir Putin, run that through your system and let’s see what comes up.

Dave: (after several minutes) We have a match!  Joseb Besarionis dze Jughashvili, born in Georgia in 1879, later adopting the name Joseph Stalin …. Bert, Bert, wake up, speak to me, Bert..

This piece was written for the Six Sentence Challenge, with the prompt word of ‘harmony’.

When I got to the afterlife, hoping for an eternity of bliss, I found an entry process that was more than a little discomforting and, I have to say, a little too modernistic and worldly for my liking.

No fluffy clouds, no harps, no pearly gates, no St. Peter with a long white beard and a humungous book detailing who’d been naughty and who’d been nice, just a bar code reader that automatically assigned a room in one of the many mansions to virtuous souls.

As I nervously stood on the assigned spot, a green √ displayed on a screen and a slip of paper was dispensed, which read Room 101, All Saints Palace, Divinity Drive, Paradise.

Before I began my journey, I watched the next person approach the Eternity Or Bust hotspot and a big red X flashed and I heard them scream in terror as a trapdoor opened beneath them, flames shot up, and they disappeared.

As I scurried off to find my room, I noticed a number of high brick structures and I asked a passerby what they were for and she said ‘Behind each of them are separate eternities for the Catholics, the Jews, the Hindus, the Muslims, the Buddhists, the Taoists and any other religion you can think of and they all think they’re the only ones here. It’s a harmony thing.’