Nightie night

Friday Fictioneers provides a prompt for each week’s challenge to write a 100-word story inspired by a photo. PS – ‘Nightie’ is Australian slang for a nightgown.

Come to a Nightie Night, she said. Everyone dresses in a plain, virginal nightie and are led by ‘nuns’ to a bargain-price shopping spree at the local lingerie boutique. There’s even an ‘Ascension to Heaven’ ceremony’, she said. It’ll be a hoot, she said. And when I glanced through the window to the next escalator, I could see the idea had really caught on. But when we got there it was like a cotton-infested hurricane as the ‘angels’ fought for the best bargains. I’ll take my chances with what happens when I take my nightie off, I said, and de-escalated.

 

Be still my swell-ed heart

This piece was written for this week’s Terrible Poetry challenge, a love sonnet, and was joint winner.

 

Be still, my swell-ed heart, by Shake’s peer (aka Doug Jacquier)

I did but see her glassy-eyed, astride

her pied ride as she wended to her home,

sighing in her saddle set to the side,

clutching her cask of wine to her bos-ome.

 

Full sore my lovesick heart (and other parts) swell’d

as Cupid’s arrow shrived my mortal soul

and I resolved to plight my troth once held

by the Fair Youth at my watering hole.

 

Dark Lady, I fulsome cried, be my bride

and let us to Lethe flee and there be wed.

She fix-ed me full-faced but gimlet-eyed

and intoned words that ‘minded of the dead.

 

“Marry, not marry, for I’m wed to Sid

but as to your other needs, whatsay twenty quid?”

A farnarkeling good adventure

This my response to this week’s Terrible Poetry challenge to create an epic poem about a great adventure.

 

Upon a nonce, amidst general farnarkerling,

a fair maiden did set her sights

on a handsome prince in tights

so she could wear his ring a’sparkling.

 

In her way, as was her feckless fancy,

she feigned to plight her troth

to a handsome Visigoth

known as Screaming Nancy.

 

The handsome prince, with heart full sick,

swore and swore and swore and swore

that up with this he would not forbore

and plotted war, down to the last tooth and pick.

 

He gathered full his skirtling Scots all skittish

and filled his lungs

and spoke in tongues

of once more defending the breeches of the British.

 

Come battle day, his fulsome steed he mounted

and waved his sword

around the sward

then charged the Nancy boys uncounted.

 

Full well sounded the irony ring of wrath

‘gainst shields both stout and flimsy

‘til the prince’s tilt proved but whimsy

and he was vanquish-ed by the Visigoth.

 

The maiden shed a seemly tear or two

then plighted her troth

to the Visigoth

known as Screaming Nancy.

 

Footnote: The couple died without issue and the kingdom came under the demesne of the Angle-grinders, followed by the Saxons (aka the Sax Collectors) and then the Holy Roman Umpire.

The Giant Mozzie of Kozzie

This piece was written for the weekly Terrible Poetry contest, using the theme ‘The Big Rock Candy Mountain’. Might I humbly suggest this will romp it in.

And in fact it did! https://chelseaannowens.com/2020/01/24/winner-of-the-weekly-terrible-poetry-contest-47/

I went searchin’ for the treasure

The wealth beyond measure

That would bring me great pleasure

Up there in the blue azure.

Atop the mount called Kozzie

The dream of every Ozzie

Lay hidden in a secret pozzie

And guarded by a giant mozzie.

 

Chorus

Nobody knows the trouble I have seein’

Since I’s bit on the eye

While reachin’ for the sky

By the mozzie of Kosciuszko.

Remember the revolution?

Remember causes

and affectations of effect on war

in cities now gone five-star?

 

Remember social action

sitting in smoke-filled rooms with Nescafe activists

and battered women with no teeth and less hope?

 

Remember death

when it belonged to rock stars

and people your mother knew?

 

Remember money

and how it wasn’t going to concern you

until you learnt the golden rule and its defensible limits?

 

And do you remember when the penny dropped

that the personal was the political

and you found out you had to change?

 

And you decided to forget the revolution?

God bleakly ignoring midwinter

Thanks to my UK blog pal Bryntin , I came across this delightful site, Terrible Poetry and have submitted this entry under the prompt ‘The Bleak Midwinter”.

The bleak midwinter arrived in

the middle of winter

and it was bleak.

Not moor bleak;

more bleak than that.

The wind was keen,

not in that American neat way

nor like mustard,

but sharp

and bleak

because it was midwinter.

I watched it being bleak midwinter

but I don’t think God did.

 

Reflections

This poem was included in the Indigomania anthology  published by https://truthserumpress.net/submissions/indigomania/ 

For you and I,

all things seem possible when we look across blue water

from the solid shore.

Peering towards the horizon,

we conspire towards a thousand buoyant courses.

Imagining a receding shore and a rising tide,

we do not weigh our stamina against the undertow

nor the wind strength against our craft;

we have enough gods

to warrant speculation.

But there are those who stand upon the solid shore

who are already at the end of this world

(and the next)

and our imagined journeys

are their fated drownings.

For them,

as they squint anxiously across the water

imagining a receding shore and a rising tide,

sailing into the blue

seems a truly godless journey.

So they sit watching us,

like hermit crabs,

waiting for us to set out,

assuming we are unlikely to return,

and picturing life inside our empty shells.

and picturing life inside our empty shells. 

Discovery Bay

The signs don’t work ‘cos the vandals took the handles

but the dune charioteers look after their own.

(It seems obscurity is merely an absence

of old fruit boxes and black paint.)

Along a graded road as straight as

the line on the forestry map,

we inspect the commercial pines at parade attention,

shoulders branch length apart.

Behind the parade ground is the local Flanders Field,

vast rolling hills dotted with the grave-stumps

of the Unknown Pine Trees

like a crew-cut magnified X 1000.

As the roller-coaster road begins to seem pointless

if not endless

we consider turning back but morbid curiosity drives us on

to the final crest

which lifts the descending gloom as if accompanied

by the opening chords of ‘Thus Spake Zarathustra’.

The hill top looks down in worship

on the virgin white altar of the tabernacle of the sea.

What first seems the surf-wash of a tidal wave

and then a snow-field surviving mid-summer

floats its nature slowly up the slopes, stating without arrogance, but,

in no uncertain terms,

‘These are the dunes of Discovery Bay

and they have more than your measure.’

The descent to the camp ground underlines the point.

Huddled in a three-tent enclave in a corner of the acre clearing,

their sand stallions muted and hobbled,

a group gathers in the late afternoon sun

to eat, drink and be unified and fortified

against the impending night.

A small hillock provides us with a measure of privacy and protection

from the insistent wind.

The tent pitched, a meal begun, a flagon opened.

A red-eyed knight in blue track-suit armour appears

to herald the despatching of two snakes in the vicinity.

His malevolence at our lack of vehicular sand-ripper is overcome

by the ethics of the Arthurian Card Table.

He exits, stage left, weaving,

as we blare the car radio

to scare away the mind snakes.

 

Pure escapism

I’ll bet she’s the type that

secretly reads door-stop Gothics

and would go for a square cleft jaw

and strong silence

if she could get them.

 

I’ll bet she’s the type that

secretly craves champagne while drafting shift rosters

and would go for remembered birthdays

and the smell of someone else’s cooking

if she could get them.

 

I’ll bet she’s the type that

secretly plans Pacific cruises to ideologically unsound ports

and would go for the ship

and the more sensitive members of the crew

if she could get them.

 

I’ll bet she’s the type that

secretly cries in all the parts old Hollywood intended

and would go for moustaches in white dinner jackets

(dying of unrequited love for torch singers with her looks)

if she could get them.

 

I’ll bet she’s the type that

could move brazenly to the tropics

to have leave without pain

and to find a warmer home for her secrets.

And she would get them.

Journey to an ever-changing sea

 

Each of us has travelled our own thirsty roads

to arrive, spray-faced, in our own seaside town

and walked our own historical lanes

in search of where we’ve been

so that we might know where we are going.

 

Can it be that the point of the journey

is the journey itself

and that our gravest danger

is arriving at each town

clinging to our memories of the last one?

 

At the breakwater of our learning,

we risk piling rock upon rock of yesterday,

building marinas of the mind

only to wake, breached,

by the tidal wave of tomorrow.

 

Let journeys bring us to the destinations they will

and let the waves deliver the tide unguarded

and we may yet see the purpose

of a pointless compass

in an ever-changing sea.